Meh

Same old Braids huh.

When My Especial Lady Gets Tired

Theo: I just watched a new episode of *insert home decor show name here* and it was amazing. They did this kitchen up so nice. I want to get a kitchen in my window like on the show.

Braids: A kitchen in the window huh.

Theo: Ya and the bedrooms. when they redid those they looked so much more facious.

Braids: Oh more facious. Very nice.

Theo: Ya and what a deal the people got on their new home. They got the song for a house.

Braids: Wow the song for a house with facious bedrooms and a kitchen in the window. Sounds like a great deal.

Theo: Oh it totally was a great deal. *Pause and then turns beet red* You goof.

When I grow up...

Braids: Eat your carrots, hon.

Cassidy: Ok daddy I eat my carrots so I grow big like mommy?

Braids: Yes.

Cassidy: *cupping motion on chest* And I will grow breasts?

Braids: Yea sure.

Cassidy: Yea, I grow breasts like mommy and wear boulder shoulder holders.

*Mrs. Braids turns beat red*

Braids: Maybe not as big as mommy, kid. But, eat those carrots for sure if you want any chance at those puppies.

Oh no. Oh no no no.

Some friends from Toronto visited us recently and stayed 3 days fully enjoying themselves. When it came time to leave I drove our friend and her 5 yr old daughter to Hamilton to catch the GO train back to Toronto. As we neared the GO Centre in Downtown Hamilton we were treated to a grown man deficating on the sidewalk. You might think this is too gross a thing to post on the blog, but it wasn't the act that our dear friend and I were upset about. It was that our society completely underfunds mental health which this poor soul truly needed. Can anyone make a case for our health system in this instance? Go a little unbalanced temporarily and you never live it down. Be a little unbalanced for life and be mostly ignored.

My Scholastic Clusterfuck Experience

I deleted the long version because nobody would read it. I know I wouldn't if I weren't me. Long story short: I got rejected, felt very upset, called to question decision, all spots filled, I demand appeal, no appeal allowed as spots are full, I demand to know why I was not accepted, application is checked and am told incomplete, I say it was complete, they say no, I say yes and prove it, they say uh oh I will give this to my manager, 3 days later I am told I have been accepted (But I thought all the spots were full) and they are accepting all my transfer credits. That's it. A happy ending for us all.

Paradise Lost?

Where I live is an eden. I have little cottontail bunnies roaming around. Squirrels hopping over my feet as I rest on a chair near the pool. Robins who just left the nest on our deck a month ago chirping on our fence. Grackles grabbing drinks of water from our pool when it is unattended. And that my friends is the beautiful fantasy. The reality? Cottontails are eating our garden. Squirrels run around on our roof and make all kinds of racket. Robins who like to chirp at your window just before dawn. Grackles who crap in your pool. I tend to lean towards the reality most times.

Fare Thee Well, Charles

Charles Nelson Riley passed away last Friday at the age of 76. I grew up watching him on tv Saturday mornings on the kids show H. R. Puff 'N Stuff. With his openly gay persona he was years ahead of his time and most likely his career suffered due to this. Over the top sporting big glasses and ascots he was never without a double-entendres for his audience.

Facebook

Following the lead of my darling sister, I signed up for facebook. It's freaking me out. I think I prefer a modicum of anonymity with the blog over airing it all out on facebook. Maybe if I was drunk I would like it more. We shall see.

How to Properly Excuse Yourself from Dinner

Braids: Cassidy, stop watching the movie. It's time for supper.

Cassidy: Uh Dad, I'm not so hungry. I'm feeling a little gassy.

On the Environment

I would like to write about issues of environmental import to our world, but then most of you wouldn't read it anyways.

Geriatrich Wisdom

See, we are having company over this long weekend. Mother-in-law, brother-in-law with his girlfriend and the dogs. Seeing as how my wife's family isn't all that enamoured with me anyways, I thought this would be a good time to build that addition to the fence. I am picking up my building supplies shortly and should be busy most of the weekend and my wife won't say a thing because she's getting her fence extended. As I get older I begin to understand why men love their workshops and garages. Believe me it has nothing to do with any actual work. We much prefer playing with our toys and being as lazy as possible. Still, sometimes work can be a salvation.

Troubled Youth

My wife, being a teacher, keeps me in the loop about the goings-on of today's youth. Yesterday she told me about a teen boy who was found in his garage dead hanging from a noose. It was first thought to be a suicide, but it cam to light that this boy and his friends often played "pass-out". Not the drinking game I played in my youth. No no. This game consists of cutting off airflow until the person passes out. So, they think this boy was just playing pass-out alone. Maybe he thought he could cut himself down before he passed out. Who knows? A teacher friend from Toronto calls this sort of thing "culling the heard". I can't argue with his cruel outlook. I can only feel for the kids family and wonder at the need to play such games. Another anecdote was that it has become quite common for girls to give oral pleasure to guys in groups of kids. Grade 8, 7, high school. It's seen as no big deal apparently. Just getting high and letting off steam. Relieving the boredom. I often see parents pointing fingers at teachers and blaming them for all matter of things, but little accountability on their side when it comes to raising their children. I understand the days of having a parent at home full-time is not as viable in today's world, but even so you have to take an interest in what your kids are doing. Where they are going. Who they are playing with. Also, you have to look at media and how they bombard kids with negative messages from appearance to attitude to life choices. They are selling sex to pre-teens and getting away with it. Unfathomable. Seems everybody just passes the buck on these issues. Little to no accountability seems to be the rule of the times. Wow.

A Bligh Upon Humanity

I can talk movies all day long. You want to talk contemporary film, I can do that, although my fave era is that of the black and white film. Bogart, Bacall, Hepburn, Tracy. Flynn, Turner, Stewart, O'Hara. Grant, I can go on for a lot longer. I tend to give directors more importance in film over the last 20 years than I do prior whereas I tend to celebrate the celebrities of the b&w picture over today's picture. So, let me celebrate yet another film star of ago, Charles Laughton. Bigger than life, a ham if you will. Overbearing, loud, boiling, somehow convincing. As I sat watching "Witness for the Prosecution" a few nights ago I was amazed at how much Laughton overshadowed the other actors. No easy feat considering the stars were Marlene Dietrich and Tyrone Power. His portrayal of Captain Bligh in "Mutiny on the Bounty" can never be duplicated. He was/is Captain Bligh (sorry Sir Anthony Hopkins). More of a character actor than a leading man, Laughton starred in a variety of genres and never looked out of place in any of them.

Rekindling the Influence

My darling sister posted on her blog about the Beatles to which I had to respond. When I started writing I remembered a movie (mockumentary) called "The Rutles" that I had watched ages ago and since have always equated the two "groups" together. Best viewed (if memory serves) under the influence of some form of narcotic (not the sleepy stuff) I wonder if it is as funny now as when I watched it years ago.

How Does One Cope

People ask me all the time "Braids, how does one cope with this world and all the horrible things people do"? I have no answer to these types of questions other than producing a copy of this picture and stating "It aint that bad at all my friend".

Notra Tom II and Madelaine: Purple hair is pretty.

Guns 'R' US

Please don't misinterpret this post as making light of the shooting spree at Virginia Tech. These are senseless horrid events and I wish we had the ability to go back in time and wipe out these murderers before they could kill our brothers, sisters, children, parents, loved ones. It is just the responses by administration that freak me out.

"Today, the university was struck with a tragedy that we consider of monumental proportions," said Steger. "The university is shocked and indeed horrified."

Am I crazy or do these institutions get there quotes from the "University Tragedy Phrasebook"?

The worst---> ..."The president believes that there is a right for people to bear arms, but that all laws must be followed," spokeswoman Dana Perino said...

Wow. I have to ask this question of our American cousins: do you not think this particular constitutional right might have been taken out of context over the years? Look at all the other developed nations around the world and compare the statistics involving gun crime and then compare gun laws in those nations. You will find the contrast very informative.

My heart goes out to all those families that have lost a loved one especially in such a fucked up way.

The Chronosynclastic Infundibulum

Goodbye Kurt Vonnegut Jr. Thank you for creating a place where all the truths funnelled together and fit for even a brief period.

It's All Happening

I have applied to transfer schools from York U. to Laurier and so far everything looks good. Laurier has a campus in Brantford which is close to us so the commute will be done over the course of the next few years. One year and I have my degree and another for teachers college. When I picked up my youngest this afternoon I sat waiting for her teacher to escort her out and it struck me that I am going to be a teacher in the not so distant future. There is a part of me that knows that teaching is my calling and there is another part that thinks there is no way the powers that be would allow me to command a classroom. That fear of the unknown that keeps creeping into my brain whispering "You're too much of misanthrope to succeed. You are way too shy to deal with all the social obligations involved. You will choke when faced with adversity." And yet, I still sally forward. It's funny because I know I have it in me to be a very good educator, yet I am filled with self-doubt. For now I tell myself that I will just get the degree(s) and worry about the rest of it later. I don't want to burnout before I even get in front of a class.

He Was Kilgore Trout

Albert Finney is one of my favourite actors of all time. He has played many roles and while he may not be as versatile as some others he is a damn great character actor. Funny thing is I always forget his name. We could sit down and name our favourite actors and his name would be at the tip of my tongue, but I most likely wouldn't come up with it. I would name a few standby's like Bogart or Irons all the while trying to come up with Finney's name. How could I forget the man who played Kilgore Trout for crying out loud.

Night at the Lighthouse

The Lighthouse is our theatre here in Port Dover. It's actually the nicest theatre in the entire area and is home annually to many productions. For the last seven years near the end of March a variety show is put on consisting of students from our High school, Public School and Catholic School. The students at each of their schools perform in a variety show and are picked by judges to perform in the big show. Imagine my delight when my oldest daughter was picked to perform. She and her friend sang "My Favourite Things" from the Sound of Music. I felt so proud of my girl up there on stage singing her heart out. I'm still smiling over it. She and her friend were the third act of the show so we sat through many performances before the end of the show. I felt a little like the Grinch. My usual cynicism towards our world gave way to delighting in how wonderful we humans can be. The youth, hope, energy and joy I witnessed was intoxicating. My youngest yelled out pre-performance "Hi Rain Girl" which cracked the audience up. Then she proceeded to ask the woman sitting in front of her if she had farted. Thankfully she found it very amusing. I still feel the effects of the evening and I hope it stays. Sometimes I get too caught up in the negative aspects of us humans. We all have our skeletons. We are all human. We do bad things. Understanding that and being able to get beyond it is paramount in seeing the good we do. The love we share. The joy we can bring to one another. And maybe I become more corny and sentimental (or just mental) as life flies by, but I tellya', it sure feels a whole lot better this way.