Friday, May 05, 2006

Hagersville Station Grain and Feed Restaurant

Last night Theo and I took Rain to a play performed from students at the local Elementary school called "The Case of the Wolf vs. the Three Little Pigs". It was a musical set to 50's music "Yip yip yip yip yip yip yip yip muh muh muh muh muh muh muh muh daduh sha na na na sha na na na na" which pitted the Big Bad Wolf against the Three Little Pigs in a courtroom. Hogney Dangerfield was the prosecution lawyer and the standout of the play "Pigs get no respect. Pigs get no respect. Put any old dog in a movie and they win an academy award. Put a pig on stage and they call him a ham". Prior to the play we took the opportunity to experience some of the local cuisine, hence the name of this posting. Now, we should have known right away from the restaurants name what we were getting ourselves into, but we were hungry and the choices slim. We entered and took a booth near the door and sat waiting for our waiter. And we waited. And we waited. And we waited. There was one other table; an older couple and they waited also. After a few minutes a waitress appeared with heaping mounds of ribs, potatoes and vegetables (it was a daunting amount of food) which she dispatched to the waiting couple and then made her way over to us. We asked for menus and were told they really don't have menus and she proceeded to peel of the items available. Chicken nuggets and fries were Rain choices while Theo and I could choose between ribs, steak, roast beef dinner or burgers. Theo went with the roast beef (a la yorkshire pudding) while I settled on the striploin. We were just ordering our drinks when Rain got my attention by directing my eyes to a number of red ants crawling on our table (Run away!!!). We decided to persevere and moved across the room. I was instructed upon receiving our beverages that my meal came with a salad and that the salad bar was around the corner. I headed for the meager fixings only to find no utensils to serve myself. Seconds later the waitress appeared and saw my dilemma and offered her apologies. She explained: "I am pretty new to this. The usual waitress always does this stuff, but she's drunk". "Drunk?" I asked. "Yep. Completely tanked" she replied. "Wow" I said. "Yep" she replied. "So much for dependable help I guess, eh" I said. "Oh she's here. She's in the kitchen. She's just too drunk to serve" she said. At this point I became relatively speechless. It was either shut up, nod and grin or laugh hysterically. We could not eat all the food they gave us. It wasn't as bad as I thought it might be though the atmosphere (country music in the background) was pretty frightening. As I washed up after dinner in the facilities I spied (I could not miss it in its enormity) a framed wall hanging in what appeared to be inked onto a sheet of fleece. The scene was a sleigh being pulled by three horses with two voyageur looking men riding inside. They were being chased by what appeared to be a pack of wolves through the forest. One voyageur had a giant hoop earring (bigger than his ear) while the other sported a beard and a rifle. You can not buy experiences like this. They just happen when the planets are properly aligned. Although I know I shouldn't, I have to bring people to this place just to screw their heads up.

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