The Dude Strikes Again

The bank my wife and I deal with called the other day. I answered the phone as my wife was indisposed at that particular moment. They asked for her, but I told the employee she was busy and asked if I could help. This is pretty much that conversation:
Me: what's this concerning?
BE (Bank Employee): Its just a courtesy call, sir. We have some special deals going on to our customers at present.
Me: Really? I'm a customer of your bank. What's the deal?
BE: Well, its to do with special benefits we offer.
Me: Ok, so let me in on these special benefits.
BE: I'm sorry,sir, but I can't give this information over the phone.
Me: But I am her husband. We have loans through your bank. We were just pre-approved for a mortgage. We have joint accounts.
BE: I am sorry, sir. Is there a time when I can reach your wife to discuss this?
Me: No. There is not a time you can reach my wife and good luck trying to get a hold of her. "Click"
Is it me or have these corporations become completely insane? If you want to see the separation between church and state at its grandest you need look no further than the banks. They don't recognize marriage. Every "member" is an individual (cash cow) to them and they have developed a secret society over the years where everyone gets a super-secret password that not even your spouse can have access to. Through these practices I have deduced that banks are all actually related through a secret society. There are actually really no different banks. They are all the same corporation with different names to create an illusion. That's right people. Banks are a cover for the Free Masons. I know some of you are saying "Free Masons? How do I get one? The Mason we have working on our chimney is charging us $30.00 an hour." Well, I say to you, dear reader, that you are being ripped off much the same way your bank is stealing from you left and right. Do you see the correlation here? I rest my case.