Halos
I was looking in the mirror trying to see my aura when a thought popped into my little wee head. It started as rememberences of renaissance paintings where the artists would depict angelic people with halos. It made me think that halos were an accepted depiction of ones aura and that all people had a halo except for those souls who had gone so far down an unspiritual path that their halo had been, over a period of time, reduced to barely discernable to not being there at all. Somewhere along the way the catholic church got a hold of this concept and incorporated it into their religion when in reality the halo was a signifier of how connected a person was to the real spiritual world. This is just a little theory of mine of course. For the record guys, women love a man with a big bright halo. Men love a woman with a nice shiny halo too.
Tuesday, December 31, 2002
Sunday, December 15, 2002
Saturday, December 14, 2002
Anger Management Subway Ride
I got on the subway and was immediately hailed by an old occasional teacher I had worked with while I was an education assistant. I remember him well as he was quite loopy. The children kept looking at me as he tried to teach the lessons left by
their regualr teacher. I wound up teaching most of the lessons myself as he seemed to get frequently lost in thought. Some reverie, perhaps of himself floating on an innertube down the St. Lawrence River holding the secret of Atlantis, that interupted his teaching the concepts of integers. "So, boys and girls, if you have -2 multiplied by -3 the answer would be.........wow. Look at all the pop bottles". This is where I would step in. In any case, I entered the subway to this man yelling "HEY RICHARD. RICH. ITS ME DOUG." He was of course at the other end of the car. I sheepishly walked the length of the car to sit next to him. Doug only has one volume. Its intolerably loud. The formalities were quickly dealt with so he could leap into-----> "I'VE JUST COME FROM AN ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS FOR OCCASIONAL TEACHERS." He said this smiling. Its eerie when someone smiles whilst saying 'anger management'. "I HAVE THIS REALLY FREAKY PARTNER. HE GAVE ME A NOTE AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAID? IT SAID 'IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND GOD IN THE REALM OF PLEASURE'." "Oh" I said. "YES. SO I SAID 'WHAT ABOUT S&M? THATS PAINFUL YET PLEASUARBLE. I IN FACT LIKED TO BE SPANKED ON OCCASION'. HE GOT REALLY ANGRY AT ME AND WROTE ME ANOTHER NOTE WHICH READ 'KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AND WATCH YOUR TONGUE YOU SERVANT OF LUCIFER'. NOW HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? HE'S MY PARTNER FOR THE REST OF THE SEMINAR TOO. OOPS, ITS MY STOP. GOOD TO SEE YOU RICH. MAYBE SEE YOU IN THE CLASSROOM AGAIN HUH." I had eight more stops to go before I reached my station. Eight stops of curious, frightened, scolding, smiling, you name it faces checking me out. Sizing me up and wondering "Is this guy a nut too?" "How do these people become teachers?" In Dougs case, he will never become a full time teacher. The board is so short on substitutes that people like Doug are kept on supply lists. I've worked with worse. I hope none of the people on the subway work for the board personnel office.
I got on the subway and was immediately hailed by an old occasional teacher I had worked with while I was an education assistant. I remember him well as he was quite loopy. The children kept looking at me as he tried to teach the lessons left by
their regualr teacher. I wound up teaching most of the lessons myself as he seemed to get frequently lost in thought. Some reverie, perhaps of himself floating on an innertube down the St. Lawrence River holding the secret of Atlantis, that interupted his teaching the concepts of integers. "So, boys and girls, if you have -2 multiplied by -3 the answer would be.........wow. Look at all the pop bottles". This is where I would step in. In any case, I entered the subway to this man yelling "HEY RICHARD. RICH. ITS ME DOUG." He was of course at the other end of the car. I sheepishly walked the length of the car to sit next to him. Doug only has one volume. Its intolerably loud. The formalities were quickly dealt with so he could leap into-----> "I'VE JUST COME FROM AN ANGER MANAGEMENT CLASS FOR OCCASIONAL TEACHERS." He said this smiling. Its eerie when someone smiles whilst saying 'anger management'. "I HAVE THIS REALLY FREAKY PARTNER. HE GAVE ME A NOTE AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT SAID? IT SAID 'IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND GOD IN THE REALM OF PLEASURE'." "Oh" I said. "YES. SO I SAID 'WHAT ABOUT S&M? THATS PAINFUL YET PLEASUARBLE. I IN FACT LIKED TO BE SPANKED ON OCCASION'. HE GOT REALLY ANGRY AT ME AND WROTE ME ANOTHER NOTE WHICH READ 'KEEP YOUR DISTANCE AND WATCH YOUR TONGUE YOU SERVANT OF LUCIFER'. NOW HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT? HE'S MY PARTNER FOR THE REST OF THE SEMINAR TOO. OOPS, ITS MY STOP. GOOD TO SEE YOU RICH. MAYBE SEE YOU IN THE CLASSROOM AGAIN HUH." I had eight more stops to go before I reached my station. Eight stops of curious, frightened, scolding, smiling, you name it faces checking me out. Sizing me up and wondering "Is this guy a nut too?" "How do these people become teachers?" In Dougs case, he will never become a full time teacher. The board is so short on substitutes that people like Doug are kept on supply lists. I've worked with worse. I hope none of the people on the subway work for the board personnel office.
Thursday, December 12, 2002
Why we can't be friends
I watched an interview on CBC tonight. They always seem to do a pretty fair job of assessing world events as long as one remembers they are, of course, born into western philosophy. It seems certain that Bush will attack Iraq no matter what inspectors find. This is just a ploy really. Every obstacle you throw in front of him to keep peace will eventually be overturned in his quest to make America oil rich and free to rule the world. What does this mean to me as a Canadian? Besides the fact that world war 3 is a very real possibility, it also means that my countries borders may no longer be as secure. America needs water and we are very rich in that area. Whats to stop them from taking it? I guess its time for us all to start dusting off all the prophecies again, huh. What I can't understand is how businessmen get elected to important positions that effect everyday people. People are only a commodity to the business world. The business world does not care if your children need medical attention. They do not care if you are impoverished. They do not care that you are dying from HIV. But, if you have a few bucks to toss about? You're then a person. First rule of the todays world-----> a friend in greed is a friend indeed.
I watched an interview on CBC tonight. They always seem to do a pretty fair job of assessing world events as long as one remembers they are, of course, born into western philosophy. It seems certain that Bush will attack Iraq no matter what inspectors find. This is just a ploy really. Every obstacle you throw in front of him to keep peace will eventually be overturned in his quest to make America oil rich and free to rule the world. What does this mean to me as a Canadian? Besides the fact that world war 3 is a very real possibility, it also means that my countries borders may no longer be as secure. America needs water and we are very rich in that area. Whats to stop them from taking it? I guess its time for us all to start dusting off all the prophecies again, huh. What I can't understand is how businessmen get elected to important positions that effect everyday people. People are only a commodity to the business world. The business world does not care if your children need medical attention. They do not care if you are impoverished. They do not care that you are dying from HIV. But, if you have a few bucks to toss about? You're then a person. First rule of the todays world-----> a friend in greed is a friend indeed.
Sunday, December 08, 2002
Prison?
I live in a condominium. Its quite nice really. We sit beside a river, have parkland all around. I've even seen a fair amount of wildlife of late---deer, coyote, owl, eagle. One idea I can't seem to get over is that I see these buildings, for there are four of them on the property, as a prison system. Most of the inhabitants are elderly so you are always being eyed. Everyone must follow the rules. We can't have anything to upset the balance or someone may have a coronary. Its true----the paramedics are here on an almost daily basis. Most of the people here are miserable. There are a few really fantastic people here, but for the most part people in these here parts are miserable at being old and in pain, not finding any meaning in their lives, afraid of death, who knows what else. There is an old woman in my building who wanders making sure all the rules are being followed. She even spies on people from her balcony with her binoculars. Another spends her days collecting golfballs from the perimeter of the golfcourse north of us. This is how she spends her entire day---searching for golfballs for her son who comes to visit her about once a month. She's yelled at me a few times so I don't acknowledge her existence anymore. Back to prison. When you look at all the units from your own you get the eerie feeling that its a little box you live in not unlike a cell. You often see people walking about the grounds like you see on prison grounds with inmates walking around in circles. Same here. These people just walk around the buildings. "You have to keep moving" is often heard. While I do not disagree that some exercise would prolong ones life I can't help thinking why would many of these people want to. I mean they have no life to begin with really. I was reading a bio on a native shaman who had some musings on white society. He could not see the sense in it and I tend to agree with him. This system is set up for the good of a few, not the good of the many for the most part. Anyone who thinks capitalism is a great system is fat, stupid and entirely too sheltered. I say it should be mandatory for every person in north America to go to a 3rd world nation to live for a year. If they survive they of course can return home. If the are still a capitalist at that point I would be surprised. Anyway, thats my rambling for now. A prison with no fences or barbed wire, but a prison just the same.
I live in a condominium. Its quite nice really. We sit beside a river, have parkland all around. I've even seen a fair amount of wildlife of late---deer, coyote, owl, eagle. One idea I can't seem to get over is that I see these buildings, for there are four of them on the property, as a prison system. Most of the inhabitants are elderly so you are always being eyed. Everyone must follow the rules. We can't have anything to upset the balance or someone may have a coronary. Its true----the paramedics are here on an almost daily basis. Most of the people here are miserable. There are a few really fantastic people here, but for the most part people in these here parts are miserable at being old and in pain, not finding any meaning in their lives, afraid of death, who knows what else. There is an old woman in my building who wanders making sure all the rules are being followed. She even spies on people from her balcony with her binoculars. Another spends her days collecting golfballs from the perimeter of the golfcourse north of us. This is how she spends her entire day---searching for golfballs for her son who comes to visit her about once a month. She's yelled at me a few times so I don't acknowledge her existence anymore. Back to prison. When you look at all the units from your own you get the eerie feeling that its a little box you live in not unlike a cell. You often see people walking about the grounds like you see on prison grounds with inmates walking around in circles. Same here. These people just walk around the buildings. "You have to keep moving" is often heard. While I do not disagree that some exercise would prolong ones life I can't help thinking why would many of these people want to. I mean they have no life to begin with really. I was reading a bio on a native shaman who had some musings on white society. He could not see the sense in it and I tend to agree with him. This system is set up for the good of a few, not the good of the many for the most part. Anyone who thinks capitalism is a great system is fat, stupid and entirely too sheltered. I say it should be mandatory for every person in north America to go to a 3rd world nation to live for a year. If they survive they of course can return home. If the are still a capitalist at that point I would be surprised. Anyway, thats my rambling for now. A prison with no fences or barbed wire, but a prison just the same.
Friday, December 06, 2002
Aliens?
I figured out how they make those alien sounds in movies. You know the kind ; the heroes are gathered around a radio receiver and can here static and squeal sounds when all of a sudden a young child, idiot savant or a peaceful minded individual says "Wait! Listen! Its them. They're trying to communicate with us." etc.... The truth of the matter is that those sounds are actually emanating from a baby monitor that is too close to a microwave oven. Its true. I had left my tea sit too long and put it in the microwave to warm up. The baby was sleeping in her crib. I heard static and squeals and immediately felt panic stricken. I donned a metal calandar, a broom and a lemurian crystal (known for its universal power) and bravely headed for the bedroom of my infant. She was sleeping soundly. Oblivious to the clear and present danger and to me as I made sure she was breathing and unmarked ie. any sign of microchip implant, fang marks, etc...there was no visible trace of alien life in this room. I decided to put up a force field of blue star energy to make sure she was well defended against any further sortes staged by these alien vermin. I then went back to the kitchen and found my tea had cooled. I reheated the tea in the microwave when I heard them again. They were back and I knew there was gonna be trouble.
I figured out how they make those alien sounds in movies. You know the kind ; the heroes are gathered around a radio receiver and can here static and squeal sounds when all of a sudden a young child, idiot savant or a peaceful minded individual says "Wait! Listen! Its them. They're trying to communicate with us." etc.... The truth of the matter is that those sounds are actually emanating from a baby monitor that is too close to a microwave oven. Its true. I had left my tea sit too long and put it in the microwave to warm up. The baby was sleeping in her crib. I heard static and squeals and immediately felt panic stricken. I donned a metal calandar, a broom and a lemurian crystal (known for its universal power) and bravely headed for the bedroom of my infant. She was sleeping soundly. Oblivious to the clear and present danger and to me as I made sure she was breathing and unmarked ie. any sign of microchip implant, fang marks, etc...there was no visible trace of alien life in this room. I decided to put up a force field of blue star energy to make sure she was well defended against any further sortes staged by these alien vermin. I then went back to the kitchen and found my tea had cooled. I reheated the tea in the microwave when I heard them again. They were back and I knew there was gonna be trouble.
Ewan McTeagle Update
Yes, its true poetry fans, the rumours are a reality. The great Scottish poet Ewan McTeagle has indeed left a larger legacy than first thought. Most famous for his poem 'Can I Have Fifty Pounds to Mend the Shed?' which reads :
Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm fight on my uppers.
I can pay you back.
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder troubles getting better.
Love, Ewan.
It was a majestic sweeping poem which was simplistic, yet intense in its feeling for the Scottish Highlands. It seems that the grandaughter of Lassie O'Shen and the camera man, Karl Urdink, of the then famous interview of said grandmother found a box containing three more poems that had been stowed away in secret. When asked where she found them the grandaughter, who was named after her prestigious ancestor, was quoted as saying "Och, I dinna know who McTeagle was and I thought it was just tripe." Lassie Urdink also went on to say that she was made aware of the fact that she may have found a lost treasure when she read a note left with the poems written by her grandmother which read "You may have found a lost treasure." Among the poems were also some musings from the lesser known poet Shamus McHatt which included the controversial "IOUAEwe" and also an unfinished peice which many beleive to have sparked the creative imaginings of "The Rolling Stones" for their hit 'Hey You, Get Off of MY Cloud' which of course was entitled 'Hey McLeod, get offa ma ewe.' These articles can all be examined by the public on Christmas Eve at Westminster Abbey. Don't fret if you can't make it then as it will also be shown at "Bill and Edna Boyle's Curio Emporium" at 5557 Cantenickle Park Drive the second Tuesday after Phil Collins Day which coincidentally is the birthday of McTeagle, the day on which all good little sheep must get sheared, the last time Leicester won a game in Liverpool and Shaugnessy's Sock Outlet's blowout extravaganza.
Yes, its true poetry fans, the rumours are a reality. The great Scottish poet Ewan McTeagle has indeed left a larger legacy than first thought. Most famous for his poem 'Can I Have Fifty Pounds to Mend the Shed?' which reads :
Can I have fifty pounds to mend the shed?
I'm fight on my uppers.
I can pay you back.
When this postal order comes from Australia.
Honestly.
Hope the bladder troubles getting better.
Love, Ewan.
It was a majestic sweeping poem which was simplistic, yet intense in its feeling for the Scottish Highlands. It seems that the grandaughter of Lassie O'Shen and the camera man, Karl Urdink, of the then famous interview of said grandmother found a box containing three more poems that had been stowed away in secret. When asked where she found them the grandaughter, who was named after her prestigious ancestor, was quoted as saying "Och, I dinna know who McTeagle was and I thought it was just tripe." Lassie Urdink also went on to say that she was made aware of the fact that she may have found a lost treasure when she read a note left with the poems written by her grandmother which read "You may have found a lost treasure." Among the poems were also some musings from the lesser known poet Shamus McHatt which included the controversial "IOUAEwe" and also an unfinished peice which many beleive to have sparked the creative imaginings of "The Rolling Stones" for their hit 'Hey You, Get Off of MY Cloud' which of course was entitled 'Hey McLeod, get offa ma ewe.' These articles can all be examined by the public on Christmas Eve at Westminster Abbey. Don't fret if you can't make it then as it will also be shown at "Bill and Edna Boyle's Curio Emporium" at 5557 Cantenickle Park Drive the second Tuesday after Phil Collins Day which coincidentally is the birthday of McTeagle, the day on which all good little sheep must get sheared, the last time Leicester won a game in Liverpool and Shaugnessy's Sock Outlet's blowout extravaganza.
Tuesday, December 03, 2002
Where do I begin? This is the moment where one is forced to narrow down the thousands (?) of subjects floating through their synapses to just one thought. To focus on that thought and expand on it. To let it grow, blossom, evolve into a statement, philosophy, tirade. This is part of the human thinking process. Its what has allowed humanity to develop and to evolve into the world we now live in today. All due to the process of concentrating on one strain of thought at a time. Failing that, of course, one can always opt for the fart joke.
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