Remembrances of Stupid

Stupid was a student who worked with us for a summer on the railway once upon a time. I asked him once "Do you really not mind people calling you stupid?" to which he responded "I don't care one bit. They can call me anything they want." At the time I thought this guy must be pretty sure of himself and I couldn't help but keep my eye on him from then on. He seemed a well-adjusted young college student who knew what he wanted and was very socioable. The guys seemed to like him fine and he was a good worker. Still, why the name stupid. He had only worked on the railway a month before I got on with this gang. I asked the fellows why they called him stupid and they just said because he was. I though they were all pretty stupid to begin with, so I was surprised they would actually beleive he was worse off than they. I worked with stupid for a few months and being that he was a student and I had no seniority we usually got stuck together along with another new guy we called "Schmengie of the Schmengie Brothers". He was an alcoholic and really burnt out, but we managed to have some laughs. We were sentenced to pull out old service wire along the tracks and roll them into coils using a manual track machine. It was hard work and we always had cuts on our arms from wire snaps. One day we couldn't get time on the track (when a train was near we were made to pull off to one side. We pulled the machine off the track and sat in the shade for lunch. There was a big delay so we wound up just relaxing in the shade. Stupid got bored and for fun took a peice of chipboard he found off the trackside and threw it in the middle of the track. He then decided to pour fuel (the machines gas supply) onto the board and set it on fire. We said "Stupid, what the hell are you doing?" Stupid just told us to relax and that it wouldn't hurt anything. Schmengie and I looked on. He had a nice little fire going and decided to add a little more fuel. When it died down he added more fuel. He tilted the gas can again to spill more fuel on the fire and suddenly had an amazed look about him. The fire had crawled up the gas and onto the plastic gas can. He kept pouring the gas out in hopes of it flooding the fire out. The flames of course grew higher and the plastic gas can was melting. He frantically spun the gas can in a circle around him surrounding himself in a wall of fire. He began to yell "What do I do, what do I do?" We were laughing too hard to be of any use. He jumped out of the ring of flames and dropped the gas can. Schmengie yelled "Bury the sonofabitch, Stupid". which he did. Even a burntout alcoholic had more sense. Stupid buried the gas can and a few minutes later brought what was left of our fuel and a severely disfigured gas can back to us. "Stop laughing guys. Its not funny. I'm in serious shit. What am I going to tell the boss?" It was then that I knew why the name. My answer of course was "Tell him you're stupid, Stupid".

Those Darn Americans

From the Fox Network comes a new show called "Stupid People on Video". Another brilliant concept. We decided we had to watch it just for the name alone. My favourite was the two mascots fighting. The video showed an "Indian" fighting a "Demon" apparently started by the "Indian". Punches and kicks were thrown, but when it was all said and done it turned out pretty equal (especially considering they both were wearing foam rubber suits. The "Demon" lost his head, but wound up on top of the "Indian". Post interview of the fight was very compelling. Imagine if you will the gay "Demon" mascot lisping "I said dude this is just pretend. We're mascots and you are taking this way too serious". Cut scene to the "Indian" mascot who offers this pearl of redneck wisdom : "His head come off real easy like. I had a strap on my head. Every good mascot knows you need to strap your head down.". The last video of the show was of a man being chased by a mule. Apparently the man was trying to releive himself when a very amorous mule happened along. A lovers chase ensued ending in the mule pinning the man to the ground and having its way with him. It seems homosexuality is not confined to humans. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we were given a glimpse inside the realm of beastiality on Fox TV. The funniest thing about the incident is that they hazed out the mans bare ass and the mules genitalia. I thank them for sparing me the details (ie. penetration or not?), but seriously...its a mule cock for chrissakes!

Crush, Kill, Destroy

It seems everywhere we go these days we are to be bombarded by media ads. Did you know that they now have commercials running on monitors mounted in buses, taxis, bank machines, grocery stores? You name it they got it. Its not enough we get bombarded by spam, phone calls, billboards etc...now they are putting these ads where we are captive. Its like some giant commercial prison we can't escape unless we make like Logans Run or Bladerunner and escape into the wilderness. Soon we will have communes of people living in the wilderness foraging for edible roots to sustain themselves in order to read the complete works of William Shakespeare. I am hopeful that the whole system will collapse in on itself. That the point will come where we can't afford anything more than the very basics. That the multi-nationals, in all their greed, will have finally bled us to the point of no return. Then there will be no more money for ads in taxis. I am a dreamer.

Ha ha, sucker!

I'm a sucker for the television. I know if I turn it on there will be nothing on it to watch and I will just flip through the channels, sometimes for hours, staring at no one thing in particular. I will become one of those "idiots" that defines the term "idiot box" so devinely. Mesmerized by images telling me how to fix everything in my life from how to get sex on demand to how to get money on demand all the time on my terms. The only time I ever get sex on demand is when I'm alone. The only time I get money on demand is when the bank calls and demands I pay my overdraft off. OMG Sailor Moon is on----Later

I just came in from walking my dog "The Mic-maq Attack" and was taken with a thought. As soon as I exited the building in which we live we (the dog and I) were greeted with loud talking, laughing etc...(alcohol sounds) from across the street. It seems there was a gathering of sorts and a celebration was at hand. I began to think how awful it would be if I was their neighbour. It pisses me off to no end when I am kept awake by unthoughtful people. Then I thought "Well, what if they invited the neighbours. That would be cool." Then I thought "What if they didn't invite the neighbours. What if they just said the neighbours could go fuck themselves." Maybe it was more like "Lets party. Who gives a crap about them white assholes." or any ethnic slur that comes to your mind. It struck me that people do tend to objectify those of another race much more than they would their "own". We see it on a daily basis and every society has a long list of rationalizations for feeling and saying the things they do. This is of course a generalization. There are people in this world who are colour blind and tolerent of other ideas, but I think overall its a rarity. Of course you could shove my whole premise out the window by just stating "It was just a fucking party" and you wouldn't be wrong for it. Of course, you wouldn't be right either.

I never seem to follow through with these things, but this morning my intention is to begin writing with more regularity. The only obstacles I really face are laziness and a lack of material on which to pontificate about. If I stick with this I can see me writing often about spirituality (or lack thereof), politics (I'm for the people not the money) and human nature (we're all fucking nuts). I'm sure I haven't impressed you as yet, but stick with me. I am told I grow on people like a find mold often will. I've gotten over my fascination with topics such as "How Many Beers Can You Drink Before Passing Out", "Chicks With Dicks" and "Farts" so if this seems a dissapointment to you it will only get worse for you. I suggest you leave now, crack open a cold one, find some "tasteful" pornography on the net and hit the Mexicali food heavily.