400 Kilometers
Went to the Lighthouse Theater tonight to see a play. It was very entertaining filled with witty humour and an important message for this area especially at this time. The playwrite was attempting to breach the defenses of Whites and Indians and get to an understanding of each others worlds by first providing clashes between them over their differences and then by a coming together and gaining of mutual respect over their likenesses. I can not due the play justice by trying to break it down, but I will say I left feeling a little more hopeful by seeing a positive message being brought to the audience. I also picked up a book today from the library titled "The Indian Agent" which is making me think somebody out there knows what they're doing. I've been feeling the tug lately from that spiritual side of me. Back to my honourary title of Gate Keeper of the Wannabe' Tribe.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Saturday, July 29, 2006
Channel Excess
We got satellite when we moved into our home last year. We got a movie package that includes six channels one of which is MNExcess. At most times this channel plays regular movies like "War of the Worlds" "The Island" or Million Dollar Baby", but come midnight they air a few hours of x-rated content. I have a few questions about these "films":
A) Is it a requirement that all the women in these films have breast implants?
B) Is it necessary to add more storyline to terrible acting, ridiculous plots and direction reminiscent of the great Noomboo of the Clarke Institute for Chimpanzee Film and Poker.
C) Must all men wear goatees?
D) Are the Maori style tattoos on most of the men a requisite to pass porn school?
E) Are the winged-like tattoo designs found on the backs of most woman a proof of purchase mark?
F) Are the men trained not to run away while during intercourse the female looks back at them with a look of pain, surprise, nausea, murder? I get that idea that these women are cobra snakes. While you play the music (intercourse) they will move rhythmically and not feel the need to strike out, but as soon as you stop you become very expendable.
G) Do porn stars shave their privates to make it easier to see where things are supposed to fit?
H) Do male porn stars wear earplugs to block out all the sounds? I mean these women don't shut up. They sound like racoons in the night fighting for territory.
I) Am I supposed to be aroused by these films or view them as a new category of comedy? If its the latter I congratulate those of you responsible.
We got satellite when we moved into our home last year. We got a movie package that includes six channels one of which is MNExcess. At most times this channel plays regular movies like "War of the Worlds" "The Island" or Million Dollar Baby", but come midnight they air a few hours of x-rated content. I have a few questions about these "films":
A) Is it a requirement that all the women in these films have breast implants?
B) Is it necessary to add more storyline to terrible acting, ridiculous plots and direction reminiscent of the great Noomboo of the Clarke Institute for Chimpanzee Film and Poker.
C) Must all men wear goatees?
D) Are the Maori style tattoos on most of the men a requisite to pass porn school?
E) Are the winged-like tattoo designs found on the backs of most woman a proof of purchase mark?
F) Are the men trained not to run away while during intercourse the female looks back at them with a look of pain, surprise, nausea, murder? I get that idea that these women are cobra snakes. While you play the music (intercourse) they will move rhythmically and not feel the need to strike out, but as soon as you stop you become very expendable.
G) Do porn stars shave their privates to make it easier to see where things are supposed to fit?
H) Do male porn stars wear earplugs to block out all the sounds? I mean these women don't shut up. They sound like racoons in the night fighting for territory.
I) Am I supposed to be aroused by these films or view them as a new category of comedy? If its the latter I congratulate those of you responsible.
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Gay Owen Schools Macho Man
This is going back a bit. One night early in my relationship with a certain Jenn Z. we went out to Zak's (Soo watering hole extraordinaire at one time) to drink and dance and be merry. Upon entering Jenn ran into a fellow she knew by the name of Owen and introduced us. Being somewhat of a wannabe comedian/freakboy I greeted Owen with my best effeminate
lilt never once thinking that I would actually meet a gay male in the Soo while spewing forth a bad imitation of Nathan Lane in "Birdcage". Well, Owen did not seem at all perturbed by my "Hi Sailor. You wanna dance" greeting and, in fact, seemed very eager to play along as he responded in kind stating "Sure. I love to dance. Save a slow one for me." After a few drinks the Vikings (our musical entertainers for the evening) began to sound very good indeed so we all began gyrating on the floor trying to discover the groove of our all too white backbones. And then it happened.... While, with eyes shut, trying to find the soul in my step that the alcohol was obviously messing with I felt a luscious deep kiss fall upon my lips. I was quite taken with JZ at the time and when I opened my eyes to return the favour there stood Owen beeming at me. I froze. I turned many different shades of red including chartreuse. I mumbled. I stuttered. I finally found the words "Don't you ever do that again." He kissed me again. I was completely embarrassed and quickly looked around to see who was laughing at me. I mustered "Do that again and I will punch you in the face". A little servere, but considering the moment it was either that or "Shaddap goof." I sat down at our table and drank a lot and began to lighten up about the whole ordeal. I had always thought of myself as a tough guy who did "manly" work and thought gays were weirdo's. After getting over the initial shock of being kissed by a male I was able to chuckle about it and felt flattered that I was the object of affection. Thinking about it I probably would have reacted the same way to a woman who kissed me without my want and/or consent. Owen left due to my threat of violence which was too bad as I had led him on, albeit unwittingly. Thanks Owen for teaching me a little bit more about myself and I am sorry I was not nor am now gay for you would have made a hell of a boyfriend.
This is going back a bit. One night early in my relationship with a certain Jenn Z. we went out to Zak's (Soo watering hole extraordinaire at one time) to drink and dance and be merry. Upon entering Jenn ran into a fellow she knew by the name of Owen and introduced us. Being somewhat of a wannabe comedian/freakboy I greeted Owen with my best effeminate
lilt never once thinking that I would actually meet a gay male in the Soo while spewing forth a bad imitation of Nathan Lane in "Birdcage". Well, Owen did not seem at all perturbed by my "Hi Sailor. You wanna dance" greeting and, in fact, seemed very eager to play along as he responded in kind stating "Sure. I love to dance. Save a slow one for me." After a few drinks the Vikings (our musical entertainers for the evening) began to sound very good indeed so we all began gyrating on the floor trying to discover the groove of our all too white backbones. And then it happened.... While, with eyes shut, trying to find the soul in my step that the alcohol was obviously messing with I felt a luscious deep kiss fall upon my lips. I was quite taken with JZ at the time and when I opened my eyes to return the favour there stood Owen beeming at me. I froze. I turned many different shades of red including chartreuse. I mumbled. I stuttered. I finally found the words "Don't you ever do that again." He kissed me again. I was completely embarrassed and quickly looked around to see who was laughing at me. I mustered "Do that again and I will punch you in the face". A little servere, but considering the moment it was either that or "Shaddap goof." I sat down at our table and drank a lot and began to lighten up about the whole ordeal. I had always thought of myself as a tough guy who did "manly" work and thought gays were weirdo's. After getting over the initial shock of being kissed by a male I was able to chuckle about it and felt flattered that I was the object of affection. Thinking about it I probably would have reacted the same way to a woman who kissed me without my want and/or consent. Owen left due to my threat of violence which was too bad as I had led him on, albeit unwittingly. Thanks Owen for teaching me a little bit more about myself and I am sorry I was not nor am now gay for you would have made a hell of a boyfriend.
Saturday, July 15, 2006
The Homecoming Queen (and Two Princesses)
I picked up Theo, Rain and Cassidy from the GO Station in downtown Hamilton this afternoon. They were about a 1/2 hour late so I was wandering around searching for them. As I re-entered the station I spied my three beauties approaching. When Rain saw me she came running and threw her arms around me while I had the biggest grin in the world on my face. Cassidy then ran at me and jumped into my arms and proceeded to tell me about her whole trip at a speed that is reserved for test pilots. I glanced to my right and sitting on a bench was a woman and her two children who was absolutely beaming at how cute this all was. She proceeded to well up and I thought "Damn you woman. Do not well up. I am doing everything in my power not to blubber like the sentimental fool I am." I welled up. It was completely beyond my control.
I picked up Theo, Rain and Cassidy from the GO Station in downtown Hamilton this afternoon. They were about a 1/2 hour late so I was wandering around searching for them. As I re-entered the station I spied my three beauties approaching. When Rain saw me she came running and threw her arms around me while I had the biggest grin in the world on my face. Cassidy then ran at me and jumped into my arms and proceeded to tell me about her whole trip at a speed that is reserved for test pilots. I glanced to my right and sitting on a bench was a woman and her two children who was absolutely beaming at how cute this all was. She proceeded to well up and I thought "Damn you woman. Do not well up. I am doing everything in my power not to blubber like the sentimental fool I am." I welled up. It was completely beyond my control.
Friday, July 14, 2006
Fast Cars, Loose Women and the Redneck Life
Every once in awhile I get an email with pics of cars, bare-breasted women or a depiction of redneck life. Let me address my personal views on these topics.
Cars: I don't care what the new Mercedes looks like or any other over-priced gas guzzling extention of the male member. I am practical when it comes to vehicles. It has to get me to point B from A, be good on gas and allow me to fit my family (including dog) into it.
Bare-breasted women: While I am definitely a huge fan of the female anatomy I have no interest in barbie doll women with fake tits, too much makeup and teased hair especially when they are flopping over a vehicle
Depictions of redneck life: I live in a farming area. I see this shit every day live with my own eyes. While some may find it amusing to see people doing stupid things or looking like goobers, I personally gain no satisfaction whatsoever in seeing the missing link in all its splendor.
Every once in awhile I get an email with pics of cars, bare-breasted women or a depiction of redneck life. Let me address my personal views on these topics.
Cars: I don't care what the new Mercedes looks like or any other over-priced gas guzzling extention of the male member. I am practical when it comes to vehicles. It has to get me to point B from A, be good on gas and allow me to fit my family (including dog) into it.
Bare-breasted women: While I am definitely a huge fan of the female anatomy I have no interest in barbie doll women with fake tits, too much makeup and teased hair especially when they are flopping over a vehicle
Depictions of redneck life: I live in a farming area. I see this shit every day live with my own eyes. While some may find it amusing to see people doing stupid things or looking like goobers, I personally gain no satisfaction whatsoever in seeing the missing link in all its splendor.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Home Alone
I am all alone until Friday. Theo has taken the girls to her moms and left me to my own devices. What to do, what to do. The quiet is wonderful, yet I really don't know what to do with myself. I have a lot of projects I want to work on, but my back went out on me and physical activity is done at a heavy cost. I really miss my girls too. They are noisy, but they make me laugh alot between bouts of fighting each other. Time to rent some DVD's.
I am all alone until Friday. Theo has taken the girls to her moms and left me to my own devices. What to do, what to do. The quiet is wonderful, yet I really don't know what to do with myself. I have a lot of projects I want to work on, but my back went out on me and physical activity is done at a heavy cost. I really miss my girls too. They are noisy, but they make me laugh alot between bouts of fighting each other. Time to rent some DVD's.
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